I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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