Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
