I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
