We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
