are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
