I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So. Much. Porn.
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