I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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