You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
