sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
