yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
