my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
