all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
