You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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