goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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