thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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