that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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