My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
