i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
