it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
