At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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