lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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