I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
