I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
im holly from the hills drunk
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
