I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize