Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
