3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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