This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
