was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Shitshow foam night was such a success
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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