she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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