I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
