He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
