She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
