Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My dick has a subreddit
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
