just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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