Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
