I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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