I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
