i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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