i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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