I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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