is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
