You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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