Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
