first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
