she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
