Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
