i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
