Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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