but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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