do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
