after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
