Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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