Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
